BEHIND THE MASK

Everyone I know seem to have their happily ever after and I am happy for them, I truly am; but I can't hide the fact that when I go home and face the four walls of my room, sadness fills me in. I envy their happiness, their faces radiate the joy of loving and being loved back.....I see them and how I wish I would someday be like them. Everybody seem to get everything they needed except for me....everybody moves on, and I am still here wallowing in pain. I do my best to stay positive but when you see that everyone around you are happily inlove, you can't help but pity yourself. And the most depressing thing is that everbody wants to go home, I am trying to look like I am excited about it but who am I kidding? I may fool them but I know deep inside that I am lying because the truth is....I am so scared to go home.....scared to see that the people who hurt me are so happy and I am not......that even if they did what everbody regarded as morally wrong, at the end they are really happy which made them actually right. As I imagine myself going back home, I could vividly see and feel how scared I am, and I don't trust myself that I would do the right thing if I were to face reality. I just hope that someday, I could let everything go and that I would be brave enough to face my fears so that someday I could also have my happily ever after.