One night, before I started writing this entry, I asked some of my friends how can they distinguish LIKE and LOVE. Most of them answered LIKE as setting of standards and LOVE as acceptance of his whole personality and yet disregarding all the negativities he have. When you like someone, you can answer why you like this certain person and definitely you can directly answer the reason of wanting him. Merely, there is a particular basis of liking him. In contrary with this is the term love. It is wherein you can’t answer why you like the person. You can’t identify the real definition of the system you are feeling that certainly arise.
Anyway, I just asked them because I am confused with the two terms. If you will just base it on a definition, the two are synonymous with each other but if you look beyond this, there is a great difference. Loving is liking but liking will never be loving.
Waking up early in the morning, eating breakfast, taking a bath, go to school, attending subjects, lunchtime, another batch of subjects, dismissal, a time for peers, dinner, time to go to sleep and another morning… These are usual things that I experience as a student. Isn’t this boring? Daily routines that always pass but with no real color and with no direction because what I knew is that I am taking a continuous circulation, which I can’t determine where it really started. I can’t find reasons to justify the means but I am tired of seeking for the answers.
One morning, I self- actualized. I think. I asked myself with what’s new with me and what am I as of now. Am I happy or am I sad? Or just mixed emotion I really don’t know why is this happening to me. I never imagined myself that I will come up to this point, a point I really feel empty and dull; thinking of anything except to the questions what should I do and what will happen next.
Lately, a guy who was once very close to me bothered me, and then suddenly a gap between the two of us emerged. I used to like him but this likeness become bitterness when I didn’t get what he really mean. He is doing such things at an instant, which is obviously unjustifiable especially for me because the ways he interacts with me is much different to the way he deals with the least of the group.
Admit or not, I was hurt. The unexplained gap was the root of all the pain I am inflicting but I don’t know who would be blamed for this. Is it me who first decided to put distance but never did because of the fear loosing a friend? Is it he to be blamed for acting such crazy things? Or is it the people around who keep on pairing the two of us and always saying that we might be a good couple and there’s something that binds us- FRIENDSHIP and LOVE.
Hell is the word love when you already endure the taste of being broken up. Hate is the word every time I see him. The likeness that should be bloom to love had turned into bitterness, into hatred that only me know the reason behind this feeling.
It may be hard to move on. They say that the easiest way to do is to forget the memories that you’ve been through with him, though in good and in bad times, but for me, it will not. Being with that person can help me surpass the feeling-HEARTACHES and GRIEVANCE. I am used to be with him, though hard, I will not think much of the distance that apart us rather than to take the gap which is more likely taking him out of my life, which is more difficult for me. Acceptance could also be an answer. It is only a matter of time and the time when you accept the reality, that’s the only you can say “I HAD FINALLY MOVED ON…”
“A day is a continuous circulation until dawn and midnight then another day”- I thought. I was wrong. It is not continuous because there is a break for everything. Time is continuously running but its up to you how to consume it properly and how will you divide your time from different perspective. If you’re tired, then stop. Rather stop than to push you wants then will end up to a very disliking chapter of you life- HATING YOURSELF FOR DOING SUCH THINGS…
