..STILL, I AM BLEEDING…

…What’s the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away??

…It’s like waiting for something to happen but in the end, you will be left hanging and expecting. Yes, I believe that the easiest way to hurt yourself is to EXPECT but I found myself doing it.

How pathetic I am… I know…

..A blood flowing with running water as tears are rushing down through my cheeks because of the deep pain in feeling caused by the cut in my hand. I am thinking what if it won’t stop bleeding… who would be blamed for this??

..As I look at the broken pieces of mirror on the ground, I found myself crying not for the fact that I am physically wounded. There’s inside me that is scourging my heart. I don’t know how… I don’t know why…

..Before, whenever I see someone crying because of this damn LOVE, I’m always asking why is it they have to enter into a relationship where they can’t able to manage it. They always end up crying… feeling all alone though friends are saying that they are always there for you… but there’s something missing within you… A missing part that can’t be filled by someone who cheers and lightens you up…

..Because of that, I am now afraid to love. I am afraid to feel what they had felt. I see how they cried hard, how misserable they are and how difficult for them to move on. But the big BUT there is that LOVE is inevitable. No matter how you control it or stop yourself from doing so, a certain feeling will surely arise. Or even you will wake up one morning seeing yourself falling in love unknowingly assuming that it is just a petty infatuation.

..Now, I am in great dilemma. I am confused with what I am feeling and I hate it. I don’t like the feeling anymore especially when you’re not sure if he is also into you. And its thougher when you thought he likes you too but being naturally sweet is one of his personalities.

..I tried to move against him and put a gap between the two of us even detachment is hard to do but they say that it will be the foolest act I ever thought. They gave me two options: to tell him about it or to keep it for sake of our friendship.

..It would be unfair for him if I’ll put a gap. Times a precious thing to waste but friends are more precious. I still think of it. Its hard for me to carry this out but maybe this is the right choice. Besides, I don’t want to waste the closeness we shared.



..Some of our friends can’t hide their thoughts and simply say what they want about us not knowing that I am tormenting with what they are doing. They know that I am not a typical girl who is a quick-tempered one but all of us has boundaries. I’m already tired of pleasing them to stop making issues about us. But they weren’t listening!

..As days pass by, I hate the manner he is showing. It is obviously seen that the way he interact with me is very much different the way I am used to. Is he the one putting the SPACE between us? What’s the reason behind it? Is he experiencing the awkwardness I felt? But why? Is he guilty of something? If not, why is he doing this? Was it easy for him to ignore this kind of arrangement all of a sudden? What about us? What will happen next?

..Lot of questions, isn’t it? I’d like to heard the answers but surely I will be troubled with it. Better not to…

..But doesn’t he think of our FRIENDSHIP? He’s not being fair to me. He’s a big damn COWARD. Sometimes, I imagine seeing myself standing before him, having a confrontation with what’s the real score between the two of us, but I still have no guts to do it. And I will never have.

..Love came along unexpectedly between us..

Why can’t it be? Why can’t it be the two of us…
Why can’t we be lovers, only friends..
You came along at the wrong place at the wrong time or was it me..

..”Why Can’t It Be?” by 3rd Avenue… Are you familiar with the song? That’s the song they intended to us. I love the song because its one of my favorites. Now, whenever I heard this song, he is the one that popped in my mind.

..Is it a one-sided feeling? Or on both parties? I know I’m not of his kind. And I am not assuming. We can’t be lovers because we are only destined to be friends as what the song tries to intend.

..I never had a commitment but I already feel broken like the mirror on the ground I mentioned previously. A broken mirror that can’t never be back on its original smooth shape. No matter you gave your best shot to glue the pieces of it, there are still lines that leave marks. Like with the wound in my hand, despite the fact that the cut will heal, it will still leaves a scar that blemishes the skin.

..Now, I am searching myself because I am in a dream. And hopefully, there’s someone who would lend a hand to wake me up in this foolishness. Someone who would help me to carry this out. Someone who would take care of my heart and not let anyone hurt me as much as I am right now. A name who would fix me, at least try to stick the broken pieces that was scattered and do his best to secure my heart no matter what happen.

Should I Smile Because We’re Friends or Should I Cry Because That’s All What We Have?

…I’ve never missed anyone as much as I am missing you right now...

…I never thought I would need someone like you as much I do right now…

…but more than anything, I just want to call you mine…

I LOVE YOU!

…did that mean anything to you??

…all I have left is a broken heart and lost and forgotten memories…

…you walked out of my life, left me with nothing but I’ve settled with less..

..still waiting here on my never ending dream…

…there’s a girl in my mirror, she look so sad..

…so this is what they call teenage love they didn’t mention the heartbreak or the tears and the sleepless nights..

..Shall I smile because we’re friends or cry because that’s all we will ever be?

I WANT MORE!

I'm so close yet so far…

Everything I see reminds me of you, just can’t it back the way it used to be..

If only you could have loved me that I little bit more, may be you would have tried to keep us together then but I’ve got to remember is you’ve moved on..

Once upon a time, I was fallin’ in love now I’m only fallin’ apart and I am sorry.. Sorry for thinking I even had a chance… I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love me…

That’s not the way it should be…

Since you left, you’ve changed but I still love the new you…

I MISS YOU!

They say distance makes the heart grow further that’s the thing I need at least at the moment…

You took my heart ripped into pieces and now left me to fix it…

I thought I was your Cinderella.. you made love seem so simple but why did you have to make the heartbreak so hard??

The day I get over you is when pigs can fly..its impossible…

My heart is still bleeding because of you…

I had my hopes to high and feelings to strong to think there could ever be a me and you…

I dropped a tear into the ocean the day I find it is when I’’ stop loving you be..

Fate brings people together, it just torn me apart..

I knew love was because of you but I also learnt the meaning of “HEARTBROKEN”

Thinking of you makes my heart skip a beat..

I WANT YOU BACK!

A Sudden Accident

I had just recapped what had happened to me last August 08, 2009. A sudden accident had occurred. Not only once but twice...

It was afternoon, from school going to Lipa, we are riding in a jeepney when suddenly the driver had a full impact brake. He hitted a boy riding in his bicycle. Though not the fault of the driver, he sends the boy to the nearby hospital in Lipa. he almost forgot that he still have three passengers. Fortunately, none of us was hurt. Only the poor boy who was eranded to buy something was hurt and wounded.

When we we're dropped in the hospital, I asked my friend, Precious, if she could go with me to SM or Robinsons for me to buy a backpack to me used on the following Monday. It was just one of the reasons. There's something inside me that I can't explain why I still don't want to go home. But she refused and had no choice but to go all alone.

Since I was all by myself, I decided not to go along. I jumped in the jeepney with a signboard LEMERY. Couple of minutes had passed before the jeepney was fully loaded.

While taking the road, chitchats, laughs, murmur and a hardcore music enclosed the mobile. I take a nap when a splash of car was heard.

I opened my eyes and just realized that the jeepney we're riding had crashed and banged the cement post. Many happening had happened and I never care about it. What I want is to go home and take a rest.

Passengers we're keep on talking about the incident. Uncontrollable brake, bang on the post, crashed jeepney and so... Until I reached my destination. They never realized how important life is... how short it is... how should they treasure it and never waste time in a senseless matters. And above all, they should thank God that they're still alive and kicking, living in a wonderful world we live in.

When Love Has Gone…

It doesn’t matter who called it first; ending a relationship, no matter how long or short it lasted, is always hard to do. Your mind will always go over every element that made up relationship in the quest to find out exactly what went wrong between you and the girl you thought was MS. RIGHT-FOR-YOU and the process can very painful, even if she was the one who said goodbye first.

The hurt that you may be feeling with regards the break up can get even worse once you find out that she who was once the girl in your life has begun to see someone else. That would get you start questioning yourself as to why you have not yet moved on when she obviously has done so.

If this happens to you, you will need to deal with the reality that everything is finally over between the two of you, even if you are not exactly ready to move on. you do not necessarily have to find someone to replace her just yet; just do something that will help ease blow of the news.

The first thing you need to do is to stop comparing yourself with your ex’s new squeeze. Stop asking yourself questions like “Is he cooler or cuter than me?” or “Does she love him more than she loved me?” or “What is he doing that makes her happy, a lot happier than I ever made her?” These questions will only make you go spiraling down in despair. Remember that whatever happened between you and you ex, you broke up because the two of you are not compatible enough to be able to bridge the gap created by whatever went wrong. The two of you are just not a good match.

Another thing you should do is to make sure that your paths will not cross with her and her new squeeze. if you have to change your daily routine, like the route going to your room, then do not hesitate to do so. Do not ask your friends for any news about her and tell them as well that you do not want to hear anything about whatever is going on with her at the moment out of your sight; she gets out of your mind.

Be polite and do not snob them even if you do manage to bump into her and her new boyfriend. Smile and say “hi” and then walk away. You do not need to feel embarrassed or to think you are pathetic, even if the sight of them fills you with humiliation. Being civil to them will make her think that you are okay and actually fill yourself with confidence.

Lastly, enjoy this time of being alone. More often than not, men in relationships tend to set aside some of the things they enjoy in order to make room for a goal in their lives. Being alone is as great a time as any to reconnect with your interest and rediscover who you are. Take this time to spoil yourself and enjoy being just you not as someboby else’s BOY.

Why Can't LOVE ever be easy?

The one person who wasn't supposed to hurt you will take too many pictures...

Love like you've never been hurt, cuz every minute you spend upset is 60 seconds of happiness you will never get back...

What do you do when the only person who can't stop you from crying is the one that made you cry?

All I want to do is forget every time you told me you cared about me, but I know that if I forget I'll never hear you telling it to me again.... Just by the look in your eyes I can tell its over forever...

I can tell by the look you gave me that you want to erase all the memory of me...

I htink I'm startin to move on, because today when I saw you I didn't get the same feeling I always got when I saw you...when you start to miss me... Remember, you were the one that let me go!... I know you will find someone else and I hope she never hurts you, because I never would...

When you left, I didn't realize you weren't coming back... "There is always that one boy that no matter what he does youjust can't stop loving him..."

I know that I will never be able to forget you, or the way I felt about you...

I just can't seem to get over you...

I know I shoul get over you by now, but there is something that's holding me back. Something that's making me wait for you even though I know thing will never be the same.... I just want things to go back to the way they used to be... I can't live without your hugs, and how you made me feel when I was with you...

I tried to erase from memory the hugs left but that's something a girl never forgets...

"Life is like a pen, you can cross something out, but you can never erase it..." It's funny how you broke my heart, but I still manage to love you with all the little pieces...........

I LOVE YOU & I MISS YOU!

Every time I walk by you, I remember the good times we had together, most of the thing are about the guy, but he will realize that every word is about him....

"True love is when you shed a tear and still want him; it's when he ignoresyou and still loves him..it's when he hugs him and never want to let him go......"

"Love is only a chapter in a guy's life, but to the girl it's the whole book...."

I get the best feelingin the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know that even if it's just for a second, I've crossed you mind...

If you can't get someone out you head, maybe they're supposed to be there...

I wish I had a time machine so that I can go back to the fun times we spend together and fast forward through all the bad ones...

Why can't love so easy???

My First Entry

Hello guys!Finally I made my own blog! I'm just wondering why almost all of my friend have it that's why I signed up too. Besides, I just want to experience the feeling of being future adik na bloggera? hehe..